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 Cocles
Commodore
Joined: Mar 06, 2002
Member#: 15
Posts: 2587
Location: Los Angeles, CA
    
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 Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 7:27 am Post subject: “COCLES’ REALLY MEAN AND CONDESCENDING NEWBIE FAQ! - 2ND ED. |
 
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Alright you punks, a few others and I who have been around awhile have been hearing a lot of the same questions recently with the large influx of new listeners. Now while many of us could write a FAQ, they'd probably make it clean and as bland as a hospital ceiling. I’ve included all of your suggestions and done the very gosh darn best I can, so if you're thin skinned then go home and cry to Ma-Ma, 'cause ze Cocmeister presents:
“COCLES’ REALLY MEAN AND CONDESCENDING FAQ FOR SST NEWBIES! - SECOND EDITION”
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(For you lazy schmucks who don't want to read the whole thing. ...And yeah, if you want the more coloful questions you're just going to have to read the FAQ as a whole. Don't like it? Tell me in the chat so I can laugh at yeh.)
Chapter One: The Streams
1. How do I listen to the streams?
2. Why can’t I hear all/one of the streams?
3. What player should I use? I still can’t hear the streams!?
4. How do I rip the stream?
5. Could you please separate the songs so they don’t crossfade?
6. I can’t connect to the streams… Have I been banned?
7. Help! My firewall is blocking the streams! 
8. Why does the stream ask for a user name and password?
9. Why is the low bitrate stream slower than the high bitrate one?
10. Why don’t you have various artist/music "inspired by" soundtracks?
11. What's mp3PRO, and what the hell is Ogg?
12. You guys are liars! I have Winamp 3 and I can hear the mp3PRO stream just fine!?
Chapter Two: Requests
1. How do I request?
2. Why can’t I request?
3. Don’t you think one request an hour or whatever sucks?
4. Hey I’ve got a cool idea! Why don’t you make the number of requests dynamic!?
5. Why do you guys get so ticked when I abuse the request system?
6. Can you remove (such and such) soundtrack/song? I hate it and people keep requesting it!!
7. (Such and Such) song is 63912.43 minutes long and is requested as often as possible! Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, can you make it stop!?
8. Why doesn’t it show my request in the queue?
9. Why are you guys sometimes rude when I suggest an addition to the playlist?
10. I can’t request! Why?!? Have I been banned?
Chapter Three: Chatboard and Forums
1. Why is the chat so slow? Why not make it like an IRC chat?
2. Where is the forum?
3. How do I change/upload my avatar?
4. What are the cliques in the chatboard and forum?
5. Can I use the SST public chat to review my options on buying a new monitor?
6. How do you make the smileys in the chat and forum?
7. Where is everyone on the chat?
8. What time-zone is the chat? I'm confused.
9. If you old timers are so damn perfect then why didn't you think to put a time-stamp feature in the chat?
10. Are there any rules for the Forums or Chat?
11. Hey, man! What about Freedom of Speech!?
Chapter Four: Community
1. Who’s JERIC?
2. What’s up with Cal?
3. Are Wolf and Clem the same person?
4. Is Yvond really "Kent" from that movie “Real Genius”???
5. So what makes someone an old timer?
6. Why does Legolas care about his avatar SO much?
7. How is the "SAR" in Sarbear pronounced?
8. Why are you guys so mean to newbies?
9. Cocles, what’s your problem?
Chapter Five: Donating
1. How do I donate?
2. How much should I donate?
Chapter Six: Miscellaneous
1. Are there places I can look before asking questions, so I don’t instantly look like a dumbass when I ask for help?
2. Why do we have to register and log on?
3. Is this site legal?
4. What’s the big deal about downloading? Can’t I just use Kazaa?
5. Ooo, ooh, I'm at the top of the users online list.. yay!... What does that mean?
6. How do I start up my own soundtrack radio station?
7. If I drink soda and eat pop rocks will I die?
8. What is this Transformers crap?
9. How can I download the playlist?
10: How do I see everyone's IP's?
11. How do I log out?
12. What is Unearthed by E.S. Posthumus and where can I get it?
13. So is COCLES a girl??? Cause I am reading it as "cockless"…
Chapter Seven: Belgium
1. Where the hell is Belgium?
2. Did Belgium surrender too quick in WWII?
Chapter Eight: Happy Fun Facts For Happy Fun Newbies!
Scroll down and look for yourself you lazy….
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOREWORD
An odd thing just happened. I sat down a moment ago to begin the new edition of the Newbie FAQ, only to realize it was a year ago this very night when I first published the original newbie FAQ. (Cue Twilight Zone theme.) It's been quite a year. Many a newb has found him or herself safer thanks to the following words. And the FAQ itself has also been a great tool for us old-timers, to immediately identify newbs ripe for the kill when they flat out refuse to read it. So happy birthday Newbie FAQ. You've served us old bastards well.
CHAPTER ONE: THE STREAMS
Q: How do I listen to the streams?
A: There's already a FAQ for that, yeh ding-nut!
Q: But it's not mean and condescending!?
A: Okay, okay... maybe I'll add it later.
Q: Okay, it's been a year now. Is that "later"?
A: Yeah, it's been a year... and apparently you still haven't noticed the square in the top left portion of the site labeled "Listen". You've also apparently been visiting the site this whole time without listening, which leads me to wonder what's wrong with you. See those pretty pictures in the Listen box? Click on one of 'em in the top two rows. The bottom row is "Services", which gives the status of the streams, so we can yell at you for not checking there first before asking in the chat if the streams are down.
Q: Is there a particular stream you would prefer for us to listen to?
A: Live365. We have the most streams there and Live365 likes to rank its stations by the "Total Listener Hours" the stations have had over the past month. So if you listen for 2 hours we get two listener hours... but if 20 people listen for 2 hours we get 40 listener hours. Got it? No? Ask Cal. He likes talking about L365.
Q: Any other reason why I should listen to L365?
A: Besides the fact that I told you to? How about the fact that the SHOUTcast streams will probably be filled a lot of the time from now on?
Q: But I have to load the Live365 player!
A: I swear you bastards think I'm lying when I tell you this, but you can listen to Live365 via Winamp or just about any other player. Korkster wrote up a nice FAQ for me on how to do it with Winamp that you can find in our FAQ section eagerly waiting your grubby little hands.
Q: Come on, there has to be SOME drawback to listening to L365!?
A: Yeah. There is. No title streaming. Boo friggin' hoo. That's small price to pay for helping out SST and getting on my good side.
Q: Why can't I hear all/one of the streams?
A: First, stop trying to push your square blocks through the round holes, second, click on the pretty pictures next to where it says "Services" at the top left portion of the website.
Q: What if I don't see any streams listed within the Service?
A: That means they're down and none of us can hear 'em.
Q: What if I do in fact see several streams listed?
A: Check to see if they're full. If it says there are a couple spaces left, then it's probably full anyways. In other words, allow for some margin of error on the services part. Yay.
Q: So what do I do?
A: Stop whining and keep trying. A spot will eventually open up. Try the other types of streams. We've got mp3PRO on both SHOUTcast and Live365 and we even have Ogg. SlowMo and I have another trick, but it's our little EOTT secret.
Q: What player should I use? I still can’t hear the streams!?
A: You’re probably one of those ding-dongs who downloaded Realplayer or Winamp 3... aren't yeh? AREN'T YEH? EHH... hmm.. The Cocmeister approved player is Winamp 2 or Winamp 5 and up. Why? Because Winamp 2 & 5+ both use a lot less of your system’s resources and it also supports Ogg (a.k.a. IceCast2). Winamp also supports mp3PRO, but you need to install a plug-in found at:
mp3PRO Plug-In
Why not Winamp 3? Because it sucks, that's why.* No Ogg support and No mp3PRO support. Plus it's a resource hog. If you’re on a Mac, well… you Apple hippies are all so self-satisfied, why don’t you tell me what’s good? As for Linux? Well, if that’s your OS then you’re a nerd and a disgrace to your people for needing this FAQ in the first place.
*I actually had some mouth-breather log onto the chat once and say he was offended by that line. He also apparently wasn't aware that I was the author of this FAQ even though my name's in the title, which should tell you a little about where he is on the food chain.
Q: Come on you gotta have some other trick to listen if the streams aren't working?
A: Alright, ALRIGHT... you read this far I'll give you the trick JERIC likes to recommend. It's really difficult though, so stay with me.... Ready? Okay... Drag the link to the stream onto your Winamp player.
Presto! ....Didn't work? Next suggestion is to check the Forums. Nr.2000 is a dude who likes to make posts about how to use Winamp, so I suggest you do a search for him.
Still not working? Alright... now you're kosher for going into the chat and asking.
Q: How do I rip the stream?
A: You don't, yeh dungwad. That's forbidden here. JERIC has been generous enough to broadcast his collection (a collection that’s so big we'd probably tease him about it if he weren't sharing it),and we see ripping his stream as slapping him in the face. Do it and we’ll also ban your ungrateful rear and write your number in a bathroom stall at one of the seedy alternative lifestyle bars Cal frequents.
Q: Could you please separate the songs so they don't crossfade?
A: Why, so you can rip the stream easier? We aren't stupid nimrod. Go back to grade school.
Q: I can’t connect to the streams... Have I been banned?
A: Maybe... Did you give us a reason to ban you?
Q: Help! My firewall is blocking the streams!
A: Try the other streams, frownypants. Some of them are on a different port that your firewall shouldn't block.
Q: I could get through the firewall myself if Winamp allowed for Proxies!
A: It does. Hit ctrl+P and look under "General Preferrences."
Q: Nice try Cocmeister, but I need to use a login & password for my proxy! 
A: Type it like this in your proxy setting http://login:password@server.name:port, and yes, I'm awesome.
Q: Why does the stream ask for a user name and password?
A: Sadistic SST Gnomes from the Netherlands. If you see one kill it (just make sure it's not Cal). The stream sometimes does this when the server is down or sexually frustrated. Placing a paper bag over your head sometimes works. If not, I suggest yelling and shaking your fist.
Q: Why is the lower bitrate stream slower to load than the higher bitrate stream? It's less data, so it should pop up faster!?
A: Because JERIC is a sadist and playing a sick joke on you. The streams are located on different servers in different geographical locations so therefore suffer from different lag times.
Q: Why don’t you have various artist/music "inspired by" soundtracks?
A: Yippe-skippy! One of the most often asked newbie questions. We don't have those kinds of, ahem, "soundtracks" here, because they’re nothing more than marketing gimmicks set up by the studios. We play scores here, damnit! Music written for the film’s story! Music with Heart! With Soul! Music that makes you sound like a bong sucking hippie when you describe it!
Q: I heard a rumor that you guys get paid if I listen on SHOUTcast?
A: No. We don’t get paid if you listen on SHOUTcast. But if you pay for a VIP account on Live365 and listen to our station on Live365 we get a small amount of dough that we put towards paying for the streams. VIP memberships also remove any ads you might encounter on Live365.
Q: Do you recommend we do this?
A: It's entirely up to you. Listening on L365 helps us with or without a VIP membership, because it raises our "Total Listening Hours" which is how Live365 ranks its streams. (And we're currently in the process of trying to reach #1 over there.) If you DO decide to get a Live365 VIP membership, however, you could do us a favor by using the link at the bottom of our website to sign up. Yeehaw.
Q: What's the difference in format between the streams?
A: SHOUTcast, Windows Media, RealPlayer and Live365 are all the exact same mp3PRO signal (Note, however, that neither Windows Media Player, nor RealPlayer can play the full mp3PRO signal, only the crappy 22kHz version). Icecast is broadcast in Ogg.
Q: What's mp3PRO, and what the hell is Ogg?
A: Alright, good question. mp3PRO is a sound format from the makers of MP3. It's backwards compatible with MP3, so if you play the stream on a player that can't read mp3PRO you'll just hear a normal MP3 signal. Ogg (aka "Ogg Vorbis") is an entirely different broadcasting format. When streamed it's called IceCastv2, just as mp3PRO/MP3 when streamed is called SHOUTcast. Both mp3PRO and Ogg have better sound quality than MP3 at lower bitrates. Arguments go both ways over which one sounds better (some purists even believe normal MP3 still sounds better). The nerds probably want me to point out that Ogg is open source, unlike MP3, which is licensed buy a couple guys in Germany. Personally I like Live365 mp3PRO, and so should you... cause I said so... and I rule.
Q: But Ogg is better than Live365!
A: I love Ogg. Hell, I was the bastard who paid for our original Ogg streams, and I rip my own CD’s in Ogg for storage. But you know what I love most about Ogg? The idiots who blindly follow it like a bunch of zombie wannabe nerds who feel special and somehow "cool" for discovering an alternative to MP3. Ogg is not the end-all cure-all to your digital listening needs. Listen kids, here's how it works. If you were to rip a CD at 64kbps in both Ogg and mp3PRO, the Ogg recording would sound better. Buuuuut.... if you were to rip a CD at 128kbps MP3, then convert it to both 64kbps Ogg, and 64kbps mp3PRO, the mp3PRO would sound better. Why? Because mp3PRO was designed for down conversions of MP3 while Ogg wasn't. This is what we do at SST. The stream starts with 128kps mp3 source files, which are then converted in realtime into whatever format we wish, (all thanks to our randy-dandy SST server).
Q: Hey! You guys are liars! I have Winamp 3 and I can hear the mp3PRO stream just fine!?
A: Nice try Einstein. No we're not, and no you can't. mp3PRO is backwards compatible. So on players that can't support it, all you hear is a lousy normal MP3 stream. To get the "pro" portion of the stream that makes it sound literally twice as good, you need to be running a player that can handle mp3PRO (like Winamp 2 with the plug-in).
Q. How do I know I'm hearing mp3PRO and not just MP3?
A: If you're receiving our stream at 44kHz then you've got mp3PRO. If you're receiving it at 22kHz, then you're hearing it as if it were broadcast through a tin can.
Q: Does mp3PRO really make that much of a difference?
A: Yes. You see? I wasn't even mean, was I? That's how much I like mp3PRO. You got that... poopy pants?
CHAPTER TWO: REQUESTS
Q: How do I request?
A: There's already a FAQ for this too yeh dingleberry!
Q: But I want it mean and condescending! Please?
A: Okay, okay… If you beg enough I might be tempted.
Q: It's been a year now!
A: Keep begging, Sancho.
Q: Why can't I request?
A: 'Cause you're a moron. Well maybe not. First, crack your neck and look up to the top left hand corner of the website. Does it say "Requests: Disabled"? ....Yes? Then congratulations 'cause you're not stupid, you're just blind.
Q: But why would requests be disabled?
A: Either 'cause we’re working on something, or we're currently playing a special schedule (like “James Horner Day”). Since we’ve already established that you’re probably blind I probably shouldn't bother also mentioning that it says what schedule we’re playing at the top left corner of the website.
Q: How do I know when you’ll be playing a special schedule?
A: Check the “schedule” section, nimrod.
Q: But what if it doesn't say "Requests: Down/Disabled"?
A: Go in the playlist. Is the song you want to request grey? If so then it was already requested within the established "No Repeats" limit (top left hand corner of the webpage, numbnuts). Hover your cursor over the grey request image and you'll be able to see when the song will be up for request again. Feel like whining? Don't. It just proves how impatient and unoriginal you doofy newbs are with your requests. If you're the kind of nutsack who likes to log on at the same time everyday and request the same song while you do your nude gymnastics, we suggest you load up our forum and do a search for "Donald Dingus".
Q: Hey Coc, did I ever mention what a Dudical Dude I think you are?
A: ...If you ask real nicely, maybe someone in the chat will make a request on your behalf. But we expect a back-rub, lap dance or strawberry smoothie for our efforts. I prefer the smoothie.
Q: Don't you think one request an hour or whatever sucks?
A: No, I think you suck (and probably swallow). Sure, we'd all like to have unlimited requests, but anything over what we've allotted inadvertently creates a giant queue during peak hours.
Q: Hey I've got a cool idea! Why don't you make the number of requests dynamic!?
A: First of all, no you don't. The old timers thought this up ages ago and we just recently had someone program it for us from scratch. Click on "Requests" in the top left corner and you'll see how it works. (Note: Sometimes, however, this script gives us trouble. When that happens we admins change it manually for you undeserving lollypops.)
Q: Why didn't you program it yourself, Cocles?
A: 'Cause my job as admin is harassing you sons of bitches.
Q: Why do you guys get so ticked when I abuse the request system?
A: Most would say "It's because you ruin it for the rest of us." That’s what the hippies say at least. Personally I couldn't care less for "the rest". The real truth is, a lot of us see JERIC as our pal, and it royally boils our blood to see some ignorant greedy little peasant abusing his generosity.
Q: Can you remove (such and such) soundtrack/song? I hate it and people keep requesting it!
A: No, the fact that it's being requested a lot means someone likes it, and for all I know you're the doofus who thinks "Pete's Dragon"* is so great.
*With any luck this'll be gone from the playlist before any of you bastards get curious enough to request it.
Q: But Senor Cocmeister, this song really sucks!
A: Mm... are we talking "Transformers" type of sucking, or "Red Pill, Blue Pill"** kind of sucking? ‘Cause one just means you don't have an appreciation for nostalgic 80's synth music, while the other is truly some serious suckage. If we're talking "Ballad of the Whale" from Star Trek 4 kind of sucking then make a post in the forum about it.
Q: (Such and Such) song is 63912.43 minutes long and is requested as often as possible! Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, can you make it stop!?
A: Maybe, depends.... Does it really suck or are you just being a whiney little diaper-sack because you want to hear your request from Pi?**
**Also hopefully gone from the playlist by now.
Q: Screw you, Cocles! I'll complain on the chatboard about the longer tracks! That'll show you!?
A: Be my guest... I assure you that your fellow listeners will reward you by requesting additional longer tracks for you to cry over. Even some you may have never even heard of.
Q: Then where should I voice my concern?
A: In the forum, dingnut.
Q: Why doesn’t it show my request in the queue?
A: Either you're blind and didn't notice your request was denied, or you're an impatient little kid who can't wait one stinkin' minute for the queue to refresh. So which is it?
Q: Why are you guys sometimes rude when I suggest an addition to the playlist?
A: Because you're asking JERIC to fork over 15 bucks of SST's monthly budget without even bothering to read his post on Request Netiquette...
Remember kids, don't be a dingus. Read the stickies:
http://www.streamingsoundtracks.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=943
Update: It boggles my mind just how many idiots still refuse to read that top post in the request forum. You'd think that by calling it "Request Netiquette: BEFORE YOU REQUEST, READ THIS!" some of you might actually get a clue and give it a gander. Trust me, if you want to prove what a dumbass you are in one quick post, request an addition to the playlist without reading that post.
Q: I can’t request! Why?!? Have I been banned?
A: Yes, I have personally banned you for not waiting the full duration of time between requests, or for requesting the same song someone else did within the "No Repeats" duration. However, if you wait the full "Request" duration and pick a song we haven't heard for several days I might take pity on your undeserving buttocks and unban you.
CHAPTER THREE: CHATBOARD AND FORUMS
Q: Why is the chat so slow? Why not make it like an IRC chat?
A: 'Cause we don't want it like an IRC chat yeh dingus. Most of the people who visit the SST chatboard do so during work. The chat's slow pace makes it easier to follow while doing something else. Why doesn't it have IRC type features? Cause IRC sucks that's why. Why kick and ban, when being berated by me is so much more fun, satisfying, and entertaining to those watching? We decided to leave instant private messaging out because that forces you to join the party.
Q: But can't I still send private messages via the forum's PM function?
A: Good job Einstein, you get the candy bar. Sure you can, but since it's quicker to communicate in the chat board it once again forces you to <gasp!> join the party. Now stop being a smartass (although I guess that's better than being a dumbass).
Q: WooHoo, so you can't BAN!?
A: Can? Yes. Want to? No. Enjoy it if you force me to? Absolutely! (Especially the whiney letters you wanks always send me afterwards, complaining.  )
Q: Why is my Flag White or American?
A: Because your country probably surrendered at some point and had to be rescued by us. Check the Flag FAQ.
Q: Where is the forum?
A: “Yes this question gets asked. And yes you're a moron if you're one who has asked this. Since you are deemed mentally challenged I will answer the question to accommodate (that means "conform to") your needs. First go up to the top of the page, there are several ways of doing this, so use whichever one is easiest for you. Move the "cursor" a.k.a. the "pointy thingy" over to the left. (PLEASE SEE BELOW)
<-----------------LEFT RIGHT----------------->
Now you're going to be looking for a shape that resembles (that means "looks like") this:
Forums
That's F-o-r-u-m-s. Now click with the LEFT (please see above for a "refresher", that means... eh, never mind) button and presto, just like magic you're in the forums. Yay! Now roll over an I'll give you a treat.
Q: How do I change/upload my avatar?
A: Okay this is actually a good question. The trick is to access your profile through the forum or through the main menu bar over on the left. Once you're in your profile you'll find the "Avatar Control Panel" at the very bottom. Yeehaw.
Q: Is there anything else you can tell me about the forum?
A: Yeah, if you put a quote in your signature give credit to whoever said or wrote it. Oh and give spoiler warnings.
Q: Spoiler warnings? What's that?
A: If you're about to post something about a TV show Movie, Book or whatever where you're going to possibly be "spoiling" the story for someone, post a spoiler warning... like this ***SPOILER WARNING*** Failing to do so automatically dubs you a doofus into the far foreseeable future.
Q: What are the cliques in the chatboard and forum?
A: There are many, we've got the *ahem* arrogant lot, the bible beaters, the forum purists, the unemployed, the frenchies, the dutch, the admins, the mods, the oddball euros, the weird canadians, the droners, the cloners, the trouble-makers, the creepy information gatherers, the lurkers... the list is endless. What's nifty though is there's no limit to how many cliques you can be a part of (or put in).
Q: So who are the Mods and Admins?
A: Check the “Contact Us” section, dingnut.
Q: Mods? Admins?
A: Moderators and Administrators. The rank starts at the top with “Site Administrator/Proprietor” then “Administrator” then “Moderator”.
Q: Can I use the SST public chat to review my options on buying a new monitor?
A: Yes, but I have discovered recently that the droners will complain and even possibly migrate should you attempt to join them in discussing topics only 2% of the community cares about. Should they not migrate, proceed with caution, because then there is the even worse possibility of them adopting your topic and addressing its "merits" for the rest of the afternoon.
Q: How do you make the smileys in the chat and forum?
A: Good god! You're one of those people who wasn't allowed to use forks and knives as a child aren't you? I could go on for hours.. well.. minutes... okay, seconds about how to type ":" and then "(", but figuring you're barely literate enough to read this anyway, I'll make it simple. In the chat, click where it says, "=)" and you'll suddenly see a nice pretty window full of faces. Click on the one you want (probably the one that looks confused) and it'll automatically appear in the text window. In the forum, when composing a message, click on any face you see to the left and it'll also automatically appear in the text window. Got it? Well too bad. (Isn't idiot-proofing grand?)
Q: Where is everyone on the chat?
A: Avoiding you. Peak hours are 3am to 8pm Eastern Time.
Q: What time-zone is the chat? I'm confused.
A: US Eastern Time-Zone, baby. Cause that's where JERIC lives, and it’s his bloody server.
Q: If you old timers are so damn perfect then why didn't you think to put a time-stamp feature in the chat?
A: Nice try shrinky-dink. Time to pull up those training pants and hover your cursor over any post on the chat. The time-stamp is alive, well and probably sleeping with your girl... (or boy, it really doesn't matter).
Q: Cocles, why don’t you like acronyms?
A: A lot of us don’t like acronyms and it’s mostly 'cause you punks use them so often in some desperate attempt to sound hip when discussing your favorite composers and soundtracks (or perhaps because you’re lazy). Problem is, very few of us have any idea what the hell it is you’re trying to say when you squawk, “Oh Awesome! MG in the queue, and even some TR, S and TAAO!” ...We had some doofus a few weeks back who said, “Wow, I like POTC!” When we nailed him for using yet another stupid acronym he spouted, “Well I think you all know I mean Passion of the Christ!?” ...Actually no, my guess would have been Pirates of the Caribbean. Stop trying to look hip, stop being lazy and type out whatever the hell it is you’re trying to say.
Q: But don't YOU use acronyms?
A: Yeah smartass, I do. There's nothing wrong with common acronyms like LOL and BRB, or if it's a common SST acronym like, well "SST"... but when you're starting to sound like the little girl on "Sleepless in Seattle" we have a problem.
Q: Are there ANY acronyms I can use when discussing a soundtrack?
A: I'll let "LOTR" for "Lord of the Rings" slide. That was the first real acronym you dopes started using en masse, so I'll count it as a common SST Acronym. Now say thank you.
Q: So what makes something a common SST Acronym?
A: If JERIC or I say it is.
Q: Are there any rules for the Forum or Chat?
A: Good Question. Nothing set in stone, but here are a few suggestions. Don't use the Forum or Chat for facilitating the trade, sharing or whatever of pirated songs. In other words, don't involve SST. We've already been mistaken enough as a piracy site for no real reason (mostly by you silly euros). Don't flood the chat... with smileys or anything else (you'd think this was common sense but unfortunately no). Stick with English. We've had some Euro's in the past who think it's cool to speak their home language so the yanks don't know what they're saying. Personally I find this cowardly. If you're too much of a wuss to say something to someone's face (especially online), then go somewhere else. And finally, don't be a schlong when the admins are being serious. And don't say you're not being a schlong when you are, 'cause it takes one to know one and I'm the biggest schlong on here (yet also cockless... go figure that one out).
Q: Hey, man! What about Freedom of Speech!?
A: It's hard to fathom the amount of jackasses I've heard spout this on the chat and forum. Freedom of speech only applies in public forums, numbnuts. This is a privately owned site. Go back to law school.
CHAPTER FOUR: COMMUNITY
Q: Who's JERIC?
A: JERIC's the owner of this site. It's his collection of CD's you're listening to, so SHOW SOME RESPECT.
Q: What's up with Cal?
A: We're not sure. We used to think he was gay. But he's not as nice as the other gay members of the chat/forum. Then we guessed he was a virgin, but he seems a lot more frustrated than Legolas, so we all finally agreed he's Dutch. But the other clog dancers are much more mellow... So at this point we figure it's probably a bit of all three.
Q: Why does Cal say "me" instead of "my"?
A: Because he learned his English from leprechauns.
Q: Why does he say "m8" instead of "mate"?
A: Because he's cheap and his internet provider charges him by the letter.
Q: Can I say "me" and "m8"?
A: Do you really want to sound like Cal?
Q: Are Wolf and Clem the same person?
A: We may never know for sure. What we do know is Wolf has been blatantly caught two or three times now logging on as Clem. When the “Clemwolf Theory” was discussed in depth, most of those who opposed it based their opinion on “speaking to both of them at different times”, which basically translates to, “It can’t be true, ‘cause if it is then I’m a dumbass and fell for it!” Are they one person? Who knows? Just keep your eye on the “Online Now” module when talking with Clem.
Q: Is Yvond really "Kent" from that movie “Real Genius”???
A: If you mean the actor, no. If you mean the character... well, Yvond’s blond, a bit of a doofus, wears silly looking goggles, works on lasers at a university for the department of defense and has a thing for talking with Jesus... So you tell me.
Q: How can I be SST’s sexiest Man or Woman of the Year?
A: By entering in our annual "SST's Sexiest Man and Woman of Year" contest that we do at the end of every summer. Check the forums for details and past competitions.
Q: So who were the past winners of those contests?
A: Hart, Sarbear & yours truly to name a few.
Q: So what makes someone an old timer?
A: When I say you are.
Q: So what are the ranks?
A: We used to have Old-Timers, Regulars, and Newbies, however, as SST has become more popular these definitions have grown more general. These days I'd say there are about half a dozen founding members... less than a hundred old timers... countless regulars and a steady influx of newbies.
Q: So what makes someone a regular?
A: When I say you are.
Q: So when will you say I am?
A: Alright smartass, here's how it works. Being a newbie has nothing to do with how long you've been on the site. It has to do with your attitude and how well you've picked up on the "tone" and overall "vibe" of the site. You know how the site works, and find yourself answering the same stupid questions you used to ask when you first showed up here.
Q: Is there any sort of sign I should look for to know that I'm on the right track?
A: Sure. If I'm not yelling at you as much, you're probably doing good.
Q: Why does Legolas care about his avatar SO much?
A: Because Leggy has an unhealthy crush on Orlando Bloom. He also doesn't know how to upload his avatar so grows quite upset whenever "Orlando" disappears, because of a dead link. (Update: Leggy has recently decided to wean himself off of Orlando by changing his avatar to a Lego version of himself... very punny indeed. He has also uploaded his avatar and credits this FAQ with placing him on his road to recovery. We're all rooting for you, Leggy.)
Q: How is the "SAR" in Sarbear pronounced?
A: It's pronounced "sar" as in "far", anyone who tells you otherwise is lying... including Sarbear.
Q: Why are you guys so mean to newbies?
A: Because newbies are morons.
Q: But weren't you guys all newbies once?
A: Yes, but we weren't morons.
Q: Cocles, would you stop being an ass and answer my question?
A: I'll answer your question, but I still get to be an ass. We don't pick on all newbies, just the ones who are unsubstantiatedly arrogant and therefore imbeciles. When you log on and say, "Why haven't you guys ever thought of making the chat like IRC?" you:
Assu the old timers were too stupid to have thought of that before.
Assu your lame idea is clever and original.
Assu that even if your idea is original that we'll instantly want to act on it.
(I say Assu instead of assume, because when you assu you only make an ass of u, not me.)
Q: So how can I not be made fun of?
A: Oh you're gonna be made fun of regardless, but you can lessen the blows by being humble and not phrasing your suggestions and comments like you're a know-it-all. In other words, don't act like me. I'm one of the oldest members and they don't even like me doing it. Try saying, "Hey, you guys probably already thought of this but..." Or even better "Hey you awesome dudes. Can I just say how much you guys rock? How about I buy you all dinner. Maybe if we have time, and it's okay with you, I could list a couple suggestions I thought up. You've probably already heard or thought of them yourselves, but I just want to make sure, because I really like this site and want it to rule as much as possible."
Q: Any advice on what type of nick we should use?
A: Yes. For the love of god, don't name yourself after your stupid hobby. It instantly labels you as a poser wannabe. Could you imagine what a doofus I'd look like if I logged on as Mr. Admin? So how do you think you look when you log on as Mr.Writer, StoryTeller, or FilmMaker#1 (and no, I have no idea why it tends to be just wannabe film & TV people who do this). And do yourself a favor by not naming yourself "I-AM-AWESOME" or "GR81". Nicks like that are protective plumage for insecure kids still stuck in college.
Q: What about Avatars?
A: Yeah. Don't use Neo or some other ridiculous icon where you're obviously just trying to make yourself look "Cool and Mysterious".
Q: Cocles, what's your problem?
A: I can't stop ruling.
Q: No really, what's your problem?
A: I'm an arrogant jerk.
Q: Damnit, what's your problem!?
A: I dunno, but you're free to guess. Some of my favorites suggestions are, "Cocles' opinion of himself is seven levels higher than it should be." and "Cocles isn't sick. He's just easily riled, overly smart and often bored."
Q: So how the hell did you become an admin?
A: I was promoted from being a Mod, duh.
CHAPTER FIVE: DONATING
Q: How do I donate?
A: Buddy! Pal! Amigo! Walk right this way and let me take your coat. There are MANY ways to donate. The two most common are by purchasing gift certificates for SST at Amazon.com & Buy.com and by sending money through PayPal. SST also gets a little coinage whenever you connect to Amazon via the site and purchase something, whether it be for the site or for yourself. You can also purchase items at the SST store as well as donate bandwidth for the streams.
Q: How much should I donate?
A: Whether you give $1 or $1000 it will all go back into the site. We recommend a minimum of $5 a month or purchasing one CD (for yourself or us) through the links on our site. Not donating means you are cheap and will revoke all pity you might receive when I pick on you in the chat/forum. Claiming you can’t afford to donate means you’re a liar (unless you wish to explain how you can afford access to the equipment to view this site, yet not afford a $1 donation...?).
CHAPTER SIX: MISCELLANEOUS
Q: Are there places I can look before asking questions, so I don't instantly look like a dumbass when I ask for help?
A: The very first place you should check is the homepage for any news items. A while back we had a hurricane knock out our stream server. A large article was posted on the homepage about it, yet we had a multitude of morons coming in every hour wondering why the streams were down. I watched with glee as even our nicest listeners began throwing fits at the lazy newbs. Do yourself a favor. If you bookmark the site, set it to the homepage. That way when you arrive you'll automatically be apprised of anything going on. For other info you should check the top left corner for requests and schedule status. To see what songs are going to play check the queue, and to find what songs we have, check the playlist.
(It sounds simple, but you'd be surprised by how many of your lazy bastards never even bother checking these places.)
Q: Why do we have to register and log on?
A: Because it makes you accountable for your actions on the site... Don't like it? Cry me a river yeh whiney newbs, if I have to be accountable, so do all of you.
Q: Is this site legal?
A: Yes. JERIC owns legitimate copies of every soundtrack he broadcasts.
Q: What’s the big deal about downloading? Can’t I just use KaZaA?
A: Kazaa? What’s Kazaa?
Q: It’s this file shar-
A: KAZAA? We know not of KAZAA here!?
Q: Ooo, ooh, I'm at the top of the users online list.. yay!... What does that mean?
A: The order of the list is random. It don't mean squat. Actually, it means you get to buy me a soda. I'll have a Coke... non-diet.
Q: How do I start up my own soundtrack radio station?
A: You don't, because any soundtrack station will be inferior to this one, because no one has a better playlist or site design.
Q: But my site WOULD have a better playlist and design!
A: Maybe so, but your site would not have me, so it is still inferior.
Q: Are you for sale, Cocles?
A: NO! I am not a whore! (So, how much are we talking?)
Q: What if I don’t mind my station being inferior?
A: Then you’re a peon and not worth the time it would take to answer you.
Q: If I drink soda and eat pop rocks will I die?
A: Hopefully.
Q: What is this Transformer crap?
A: A soundtrack from the 1980's that can be utilized quite successfully as a means to manipulate people into becoming more active (i.e. complaining) on the chat board. Not that I've never done this myself or known someone who has... really. I swear.
Q: How can I download the playlist?
A: First, learn English, since most the time I hear this question it sounds like, "How one do transfer song?" After learning English you'll learn that we at SST are not commie pinkos like yourself and believe in the ownership of ideas. Therefore we are in no way interested in facilitating your thievery and request that you crack your knee and shove it up your rear before hop-scotching yourself out of our sight and range of hearing.
Q: How do I see everyone's IP's?
A: Give off as much funky vibe as I do and become an admin... but, since you're already a creepy newb for asking this sort of question, that's probably not going to happen.
Q: How do I log out?
A: It’s real easy binky-boy (or ginky-girl), reach around the back of your computer and you’ll find this big thick wire, probably black and towards the top. Yank it... hard. For a less dramatic effect I suggest clicking on “Logout” which can be happily found nestled directly beneath the chat module.
Q: What is Unearthed by E.S. Posthumus and where can I get it?
A: Ah yes! E.S. Posthumus. You have me to thank, dear children, for recommending this as an addition to the playlist. Although not officially a "soundtrack", Unearthed, by E.S. Posthumus, has been used in numerous movie trailers since its release in 2001. That (and the fact that it rules) grants it a space in our groovy playlist. The only place to buy is directly from the artist at esposthumus.com.
Q: So is COCLES a girl??? Cause I am reading it as "cockless"…
A: My nick is not pronounced "cockless" it's pronounced "cockleez" eh, yeah, I'm a girl.
Q: Does your nick do any cool tricks?
A: Actually, a large number of us like how it serves as an early warning system for when an extremely newbish newbs logs on. (It's not them calling me Cockless that does it (that's actually funny), it's how they bounce around like they were the first person to think of it.)
CHAPTER SEVEN: BELGIUM (‘Cause SlowMo asked…)
Q: Where the hell is Belgium?
A: Wedged between the butt cheeks of France and The Netherlands.
Q: Did Belgium surrender too quickly in WWII?
A: Belgium fought in WWII???
Q: I'm Belgian and offended by this section!?
A: You dropped your waffles back there….
CHAPTER EIGHT: HAPPY FUN FACTS FOR HAPPY FUN NEWBIES!
Everyone on SST likes newbies, (hell, even me), and by knowing a few simple facts it'll show!
-Unlike most websites, SST has a webmaster who is very present, and a lot of the regular users consider him a pal. This is why the regulars, especially the old timers, take it rather personally when you abuse or criticize the site.
-No matter how smart you are, you are still not smarter than me and several other regulars. Therefore, you should not act like you are the smartest person logged on.
-Hunting down the most infamous guy on the board and trying to "defeat" him, will not make you popular. Duels on the internet are like the Special Olympics, whether you win or lose you're still retarded. The infamous people on SST are already proudly retarded so have nothing to lose. If you want to be popular, play along with my jokes and donate.
-Orbiting the girls of SST like a satellite will not get you the keys to their bedrooms. My advice would instead be to act silly and self-deprecating (hell, it worked for Hart).
Q: Do I get a reward for reading all the way to the bottom? (Or at least skipping to it?)
A: Alright. I was being sarcastic when you asked what gender I am. And while it's been nice having some of you treat me so sweetly, it's also shown just how creepily desperate some of you sorry sods are for refusing to see how blatantly photoshopped that photo was.
Last edited by Cocles on Thu May 20, 2004 6:12 am; edited 5 times in total |
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Caliburn
Guest
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Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 7:35 am Post subject: |
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awesome :-) |
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Legolas
Commander
Joined: Aug 08, 2002
Member#: 178
Posts: 857
Location: Drunkest state in USA
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Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 11:37 am Post subject: |
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think anyone will read this? you should have put a picture at the top to grab the attention of newbies |
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Hurr78
Commander
Joined: Feb 12, 2004
Member#: 5061
Posts: 739
Location: Toronto
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Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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lol... good update. |
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Haurk
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined: Jan 04, 2004
Member#: 4340
Posts: 85
Location: Göteborg, Sweden
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Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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This one just gets better and better each time you read it  |
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 mellowman
Captain
Joined: Sep 02, 2003
Member#: 2939
Posts: 1119
Location: UK
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Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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Brilliant again, cocles. Only 364 days to go until v 3.0!! |
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Marko
Ensign
Joined: Mar 31, 2003
Member#: 454
Posts: 40
Location: Michigan
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Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 5:35 pm Post subject: |
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That was good and I never treated you like a girl Cocles. I also pronounced your name KOK-leez. I can't wait until v3.0
_________________
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
Gordon R. Dickson |
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rebeccabutterfly
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Sep 13, 2003
Member#: 3098
Posts: 455
Location: Teaxsahs
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Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 11:01 pm Post subject: Re: “COCLES’ REALLY MEAN AND CONDESCENDING NEWBIE FAQ! - 2ND |
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Good job, but...
| Cocles wrote: |
SlowMo and I have another trick, but it's our little EOTT secret.
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I have just one question for the 2nd FAQ ... what the heck does EOTT mean? |
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 Pixie
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: May 14, 2002
Member#: 90
Posts: 372
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Posted:
Tue May 18, 2004 11:32 pm Post subject: Re: “COCLES’ REALLY MEAN AND CONDESCENDING NEWBIE FAQ! - 2ND |
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| beckybug wrote: |
Good job, but...
| Cocles wrote: |
SlowMo and I have another trick, but it's our little EOTT secret.
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I have just one question for the 2nd FAQ ... what the heck does EOTT mean? |
See where it says "secret"?
And if it bugs you so much, why didn't you complain about it in the first version of the FAQ? |
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Legolas
Commander
Joined: Aug 08, 2002
Member#: 178
Posts: 857
Location: Drunkest state in USA
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Posted:
Wed May 19, 2004 11:46 am Post subject: |
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i thought we didn't care for accronyms.. |
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Caliburn
Guest
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Posted:
Wed May 19, 2004 11:58 am Post subject: |
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That one is an exception |
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Cocles
Commodore
Joined: Mar 06, 2002
Member#: 15
Posts: 2587
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Posted:
Wed May 19, 2004 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Legolas wrote: |
| i thought we didn't care for accronyms.. |
See where Pixie says we're using it to keep a secret?
Yeah, I know. Reading is hard.
Anyways, I actually had some other wanks the other day trying to give me hell for using LOL. Serves me right for figuring you dopes had enough common sense to figure out that I was referring to people who make up acronyms as they go along because they're too lazy to type stuff out or they want to look hip.
"Yeah man, I'm such a badass when it comes to soundtracks that I say KB instead of Klaus Badelt because I say his name so much! YEAH!!!"
Now that's just sad.
EOTT is a common joke amongst the old timers. It was a specific code word we had for clearing up some space on the streams so we could listen.
LOL, ROFL, BRB, are all common, internet vernacular. Hell, my IM software has emoticons for all of them.
But as far you kids go, no one knows what the hell you're talking about when you say, "LOTM is awesome TJ and RE rule!"
This is where you dopes say "TESB is our own secret code for all the Staw Wars Fans! YEAH!!!"
Fact is, you're still just using 'em to sound cool and you still look like a doofus. |
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JERIC 
Fleet Admiral (Proprietor)
Joined: Feb 12, 2002
Member#: 1
Posts: 4939
Location: Richmond, VA
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Posted:
Wed May 19, 2004 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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LOTR is also acceptable.
So is ROFLMFAO. 
_________________
"Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?." -Maximus
Please do not PM me. Use email, Feedback or Contact Us links. |
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Cocles
Commodore
Joined: Mar 06, 2002
Member#: 15
Posts: 2587
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Posted:
Wed May 19, 2004 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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I was actually going to write up a list of soundtrack acronyms which I felt had become "common SST slang" and it was safe to figure everyone would know.
LOTR was the only one somehow. Coincidentally, I also think that this was the first major one to take hold. Problem was, other people would then log on... see people using LOTR, and be their usual stupid selves by saying, "Duhhh, HEY, I can use acronyms for ALL my soundtracks! Huh huh!"
Unfortunately the use of acronyms is something that requires a lot of common sense... something definitely lacking in a lot of our listeners. |
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 Muriel
Admiral (Administrator)
Joined: Jan 25, 2003
Member#: 333
Posts: 712
Location: Norway
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Posted:
Wed May 19, 2004 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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For me, the only way Klaus Badelt can be abbreviated to KB (or any other composer) is when you talk about him, and have used his full name a couple of times first.
"I heard this new score by Klaus Badelt and I must say I like it very much. Klaus really nailed this movie. Although Badelt is a protege of Hans Zimmer I allow myself to like KB just as much as I would Zimmer. On another note, I wonder which of the tracks HZ wrote for 'The Rock'."
See? First I establish who I'm talking about then I abbreviate. It makes everybody know who you're talking about without coming off like a complete doofus.
EDIT:
Forgot to mention. Even though I allow abbreviations like this when you've mentioned a full name, that doesn't mean you are free to abbreviate the composer in your next post. If you write a new post everything is reset.
Hmmm... This got me thinking. What if a person abbreviates and you reply to that post? I have to sleep on that one.
_________________
"Anything one man can imagine,
other men can make real."
- Jules Verne |
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