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 ViolaLover
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Oct 22, 2005
Member#: 12106
Posts: 309
Location: Vaudreuil
   
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 Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2012 12:32 pm Post subject: Thank you SST |
 
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Hi friends and listeners, I just wanted to take this time to offer my deepest and most sincere thanks to you all. SST has always been a bright point in my life, and a lot of that has to do with the community that's been built here. In a world where it's commonplace for chatters and bloggers to attack others because of the cloak of anonymity, it's such a breath of fresh air to find a place so full of compassion, people who genuinely care about each other, and go out of their way to help other listeners.
A lot of people don't know this (I have worked hard on not letting it show), but for years I have struggled with depression. I've gotten very good at hiding it and internalizing my emotions, but recently it's gotten a lot harder to do. I don't know what's changed, or maybe I've finally realized it's not healthy to bottle everything. Either way, throughout everything, SST has been a steady constant in my life, and is probably responsibly for me not falling any deeper than I have.
It's weird for me to talk about this, I am not good at talking about myself or putting into words the way I feel, but people have told me writing it down will be helpful. I want to apologize in advance if I seem short or distant in chat, I'm not sure how all this will effect me, if it will continue to seep out or if I'll be able to get it back in the box (admittedly, probably not the best idea). But, I just wanted to say thank you to all you SSTers for the love and support of the community, and for your patience as I work things out. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
~Hilary (ViolaLover)
_________________
The journey of one thousand miles begins with a single step. |
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 Bruiser 
Lieutenant
Joined: Sep 10, 2003
Member#: 3050
Posts: 135
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2012 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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*GIANT HUGS*
We love you. We are here for you. Anytime, anywhere, some of us not just in chat.
_________________
You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push! |
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 Victor
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Member#: 16087
Posts: 66
Location: Germany
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2012 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Hilary,
i feel really honored to read your words cause i know that someone has to feel really comfy to give such things away from himself/herself.
SST is indeed a place where people care in a good way. you get support and people don't use knowledge about you in a negative way, but to help you. |
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Jim_A
Lieutenant
Joined: Jan 26, 2006
Member#: 13205
Posts: 171
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2012 12:43 pm Post subject: |
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Find things that make you smile and only smile and ignore everything else. |
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 Seleene
Cadet 4
Joined: Oct 10, 2012
Member#: 33679
Posts: 17
Location: Den Helder, The Netherlands
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2012 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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Viola... I am going to do something weird now. But I hope it will help you. I will try to keep it short.
Five years ago I got ill, in the middle of the hard year of my chemistry studies. The resulting bad results demotivated me, and my illness got worse too. I can extend on the whole proces more if you like, but for now I will keep it short.
After a few years (about 2 years ago) it got so far that a friend had to call 112 (911). The police rammed through my door and were just in time to save me from the overdose of painkillers that I took.
Obviously I had help after that, people were suprised because for all those years they never noticed anything about me at all. I guess that feels familiar.
I know how depressions feel and how less and less interests you without you being able to do anything about it. At some point, a few months after I got help (which didnt help that much by the way) I got really mad at myself, and sad, and everything. It turned out to be a turning point, I have no idea how, but for some reason my body was tired of it and the survival spirit came back to life.
Looking back, being a student I have acces to the science databases of published articles and I started digging for information. It turns out that most people at some point will reach this point where the body says that this cant go on any longer.
Hilary, no matter how bad the situation looks, as long as you are in this phase of the depression you just have to do 1 thing: go on. And somehow you will get out. I know how this feels, and I know how pointless the help of people in this is, because it is something you have to figure out for yourself.
But it does end. It always does..
And I am sure that until then, and after, people at SST are here for you. You make this a more wonderful place for us too.
The little time we know eachother I already enjoy the chatting, so on a personal note I can say that you make my day better too.
If you feel like talking about it at any time, then I would welcome that.
What I like about SST is that I rarely see a fight here, if at all, also from the time once I joined SST for the first time. The community is really what makes SST such a great place to spend time.
~Bob (Seleene (Indeed, I am not a girl.. I keep having to explain to people that Seleen (in Dutch exactly as this) is a name for one of the chemical elements, and that my name does not refer to a girls name haha)).
_________________
"We fall so we learn how to pick ourselves up." - Alfred, Batman Begins |
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 masked_platypus
Vice Admiral (Moderator)
Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Member#: 18358
Posts: 1179
Location: Chartres, France
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:16 am Post subject: |
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Indeed, viola, we're working hard to let this site a peaceful and perfect place for everyone.
I'm very glad to hear we're helping you in this diffcult situation. I've personnally gone through it ten years ago, so if you want to talk about it via PM, don't hesitate.
Meanwhile, enjoy the good music and the whole community.
*hugs*
_________________
There is no problem that can't be solve without any solution |
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ld80061
Lieutenant
Joined: Jul 01, 2007
Member#: 18198
Posts: 169
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:15 am Post subject: |
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I'm glad that SST is helping you out, even in a small way!
Three cheers for great company and great music!  |
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Sylat
Lieutenant Junior Grade
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Joined: Feb 24, 2010
Member#: 28238
Posts: 63
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:19 am Post subject: |
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Viola... I just feel very happy when reading your words. We all love you and we are proud to have you here. You are a great addition to the community.
Thanks for sharing this!
*BIG HUG* ♥
_________________
- Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. |
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Ruelf
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Member#: 20892
Posts: 51
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:20 am Post subject: |
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*BIG HUG* |
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maddy
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Jun 25, 2003
Member#: 2207
Posts: 452
Location: Houston, TX
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:27 am Post subject: |
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Hi Viola!
Thanks for sharing that information. I know it could not have been easy. My mother suffered from clinical depression for many years so I know at least second hand what you are probably going through.
Here are two hug links to hopefully make you feel better. And please, feel free to come back and use them anytime you need to! 
http://tinyurl.com/bigbearhug
http://tinyurl.com/6lnlmw/
Always will be here for you...with hugs and love and compassion. If you ever need to talk, you know where to go!  You definitely have friends here.
_________________
It's hard to soar with dragons when you work with gargoyles!
http://tinyurl.com/ltrodr
http://www.mostphotos.com/maddys713/portfolio
http://www.cutcaster.com/studio/pub/784218913
Last edited by maddy on Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:33 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Angela12
Lieutenant Junior Grade
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Joined: Dec 13, 2006
Member#: 16588
Posts: 94
Location: Greater Washington/Baltimore
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:58 am Post subject: Re: You're Lovely Thank You |
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Hi Viola,
I just wanted to let you know how much I admire you for your courage to tell all of us about your depression. By telling us, you have made a huge step in your recovery. I too am available for pm or email anytime, if you need to chat or get something off your chest. I understand what you're going through, as I too have had episodes of depression through various times of my life beginning in my 30's after my first divorce, and graduating from college with a BBA in business/marketing. Well, I have a beautiful home and great friends and family - and SST! I too am going through a bad patch - my parents both passed away close together. Also, I'm going through a sort of a career crisis - where I want to do a job that utilizes my creativity.
Well, I just wanted to give you my support, love - and hugzzz.
Take care,
Angela
(Andrea)
_________________
"Carpe Diem" |
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 DallasTreado
Lieutenant
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Joined: Mar 09, 2011
Member#: 30449
Posts: 150
Location: Poland
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 9:53 am Post subject: |
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Rain or shine, this street of mine is golden ....
Glad SST can provide you support when you need it most. It is fantastic there are places like this on the net. |
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rooner
Cadet 2
Joined: Oct 01, 2007
Member#: 18928
Posts: 7
Location: Columbia, MO
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:44 am Post subject: |
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Viola,
Thank you for sharing with us--I know that it can be so hard to do so. As with many others, I'm here for you if you need to talk, or dump, or process, or just get a hug. You are never alone!
I also do not feel like I'm good with words, but I hope you will bear with a personal reflection...My husband and one of my best friends both struggle with severe clinical depression, and have for most of their lives, so I understand a little of what you're going through. Though it took a long time for him to come to it, for my husband, realizing he needed and then finding (with a doctor) the right medication has helped TREMENDOUSLY with his ability to function and in making the deep lows less deep and the downward spirals less frequent. My friend had a lot of success with counseling and learning to recognize her downward spirals, along with techniques to manage them (cognitive behavior therapy) and has done so without medication. I hope that, in addition to the wonderful, supportive SST community, you have also sought professional help from a doctor, a therapist, or a clergyperson (who would probably refer you to one of the first two).
I get very frustrated with our culture, at least in the U.S., which stigmatizes and/or makes light of depression ("why don't they just pick themselves up & be happier?") and makes it very hard for those suffering with it to talk about it. I'm so glad you feel comfortable doing so with us!
Lots of hugs and love,
rooner/Debbie |
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alien_avatar
Captain
Joined: Oct 28, 2006
Member#: 16007
Posts: 1342
Location: Berlin
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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All I can say is... *BIG HUGS*.
It's a good thing that you found one more thing to engage you in a positive manner.
Congratulations for the SST community are also in order. People here are generally kind and supportive, which (unfortunately) is something of a rarity in internet chat/forums.
Many people don't seem to believe that things like good behavior or kindness matter in the Great Anonymous Internet Void.
Tales like Viola's prove this wrong, and I think that little fact is worth remembering.
Everybody keep up the good work.
_________________
"Welcome to the paranoia club; cheapest fees in the universe and membership lasts forever."
- Peter F. Hamilton, The Evolutionary Void |
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aGandalf
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined: Jul 07, 2009
Member#: 26086
Posts: 52
Location: Germany
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2012 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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That is the power of true/positiv music and the love from people how like this musik.
Thank you Viola that you share your emotions with us.
*LOTS OF HUGS*
Ganda |
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