| VIP |
|---|
Subscribe to become a VIP member of SST!
· Request More Often
· Unshared Requests
· Request Countdown Timer
· Request Ready Indicator
· Your Request History
· Access To The VIP Forum
· Add More Favorites
:: Click Here To Upgrade ::
:: Give VIP as a Gift ::
|
|
|
|
View previous topic ::
View next topic
|
| Author |
Message |
 Cocles
Commodore
Joined: Mar 06, 2002
Member#: 15
Posts: 2587
Location: Los Angeles, CA
    
    |
 Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 7:19 am Post subject: Cocles' Really Mean and Condescending FAQ for SST Newbies! |
 
|
Alright you punks, me and a few others who have been around awhile have been hearing a lot of the same questions recently with the large influx of new listeners. Now while many of us could write a FAQ, they'd probably make it clean and as bland as a hospital ceiling. I’ve included all of your suggestions and done the very gosh darn best I can, so if you're thin skinned then go home and cry to Ma-Ma, 'cause ze Cocmeister presents:
“COCLES’ REALLY MEAN AND CONDESCENDING FAQ FOR SST NEWBIES!”
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(For you lazy schmucks who don't want to read the whole thing.)
Chapter One: The Streams
1. How do I listen to the streams?
2. Why can’t I hear all/one of the streams?
3. What player should I use? I still can’t hear the streams!?
4. How do I rip the stream?
5. Could you please separate the songs so they don’t crossfade?
6. I can’t connect to the streams… Have I been banned?
7. Why does the stream ask for a user name and password?
8. Why is the 24K slower than the 128K?
9. Why don’t you have various artist/music "inspired by" soundtracks?
10. What's MP3Pro, and what the hell is Ogg?
11. You guys are liars! I have Winamp 3 and I can hear the MP3pro stream just fine!?
Chapter Two: Requests
1. How do I request?
2. Why can’t I request?
3. Don’t you think one request an hour or whatever sucks?
4. Hey I’ve got a cool idea! Why don’t you make the number of requests dynamic!?
5. Why do you guys get so ticked when I abuse the request system?
6. Can you remove (such and such) soundtrack/song? I hate it and people keep requesting it!!
7. (Such and Such) song is 63912.43 minutes long and is requested as often as possible! Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, can you make it stop!?
8. Why doesn’t it show my request in the queue?
9. Why are you guys sometimes rude when I suggest an addition to the playlist?
10. I can’t request! Why?!? Have I been banned?
Chapter Three: Chatboard and Forums
1. Why is the chat so slow? Why not make it like an IRC chat?
2. Where is the forum?
3. How do I change/upload my avatar?
4. What are the cliques in the chatboard and forum?
5. Can I use the SST public chat to review my options on buying a new monitor?
6. How do you make the smilies in the chat and forum?
7. Where is everyone on the chat? 
8. What time-zone is the chat? I'm confused.
9. If you old timers are so damn perfect then why didn't you think to put a time-stamp feature in the chat?
10. Are there any rules for the Forums or Chat?
11. Hey, man! What about Freedom of Speech!?
Chapter Four: Community
1. Who’s Jeric?
2. What’s up with Cal?
3. Are Wolf and Clem the same person?
4. Is Yvond really "Kent" from that movie “Real Genius”???
5. So what makes someone an old timer?
6. Why does Legolas care about his avatar SO much?
7. How is the "SAR" in Sarbear pronounced?
8. Why are you guys so mean to newbies?
9. Cocles, what’s your problem?
Chapter Five: Donating
1. How do I donate?
2. How much should I donate?
Chapter Six: Miscellaneous
1. Are there places I can look before asking questions, so I don’t instantly look like a dumbass when I ask for help?
2. Why do we have to register and log on?
3. Is this site legal?
4. What’s the big deal about downloading? Can’t I just use Kazaa?
5. Ooo, ooh, I'm at the top of the users online list.. yay!... What does that mean?
6. How do I start up my own soundtrack radio station?
7. If I drink soda and eat pop rocks will I die?
8. What is this Transformers crap?
9. How can I download the playlist?
10: How do I see everyone's IP's?
11. How do I log out?
12. What is Unearthed by E.S. Posthumus and where can I get it?
13. So is COCLES a girl??? Cause I am reading it as "cockless"…
Chapter Seven: Belgium
1. Where the hell is Belgium?
2. Did Belgium surrender too quick in WWII?
Chapter Eight: Happy Fun Facts For Happy Fun Newbies!
Scroll down and look for yourself you lazy….
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER ONE: THE STREAMS
Q: How do I listen to the streams?
A: There's already a FAQ for that, yeh ding-nut!
Q: But it's not mean and condescending!?
A: Okay, okay... maybe I'll add it later.
Q: Why can't I hear all/one of the streams?
A: See over on the left where it says "SERVICES"? All of those links under it are for checking the status of the streams.
Q: What if I don't see any streams listed within the Service?
A: That means they're down and none of us can hear 'em.
Q: What if I do in fact see several streams listed?
A: Check to see if they're full. If it says there are a couple spaces left, then it's probably full anyways. In other words, allow for some margin of error on services part. Yay.
Q: So what do I do?
A: Stop whining and keep trying. A spot will eventually open up. Try Ogg, it's as good as the 128 and usually has a space open. SlowMo and I have another trick, but it's our little EOTT secret.
Q: What player should I use? I still can’t hear the streams!?
A: You’re probably one of those ding-dongs who downloaded Realplayer ONE or Winamp 3... aren't yeh? AREN'T YEH? EHH... hmm.. The Cocmeister approved player is Winamp 2. Why? Because Winamp 2 uses a lot less of your system’s resources and it also supports Ogg (a.k.a. IceCast2). You do however need to download either the standard or full version of the install (lite doesn't have ogg). Winamp2 also supports MP3pro, but you need to install a plugin found at:
http://www.mp3prozone.com/download_winamp.htm
Why not Winamp 3? Because it sucks, that's why. No Ogg support and No MP3pro support. Plus it's a resource hog. If you’re on a Mac, well… you Apple hippies are all so self-satisfied, why don’t you tell me what’s good? As for Linux? Well, if that’s your OS then you’re a nerd and a disgrace to your people for needing this FAQ in the first place.
Q: Come on you gotta have some other trick to listen?
A: Alright, ALRIGHT... you read this far I'll give you the trick Jeric likes to recommend. It's really difficult though, so stay with me.... Ready? Okay... Drag the link to the stream onto your Winamp player.
Presto! Didn't work? Alright, now you're kosher for going into the chat and asking.
Q: How do I rip the stream?
A: You don't, yeh dungwad. That's forbidden here. Jeric has been generous enough to broadcast his collection (a collection that’s so big we'd probably tease him about it if he weren't sharing it),and we see ripping his stream as slapping him in the face. Do it and we’ll also ban your ungrateful rear and write your number in a bathroom stall at one of the seedy alternative lifestyle bars Cal frequents.
Q: Could you please separate the songs so they don't crossfade?
A: Why, so you can rip the stream easier? We aren't stupid nimrod. Go back to grade school.
Q: I can’t connect to the streams... Have I been banned?
A: Maybe... Did you give us a reason to ban you?
Q: Why does the stream ask for a user name and password?
A: Sadistic SST Gnomes from the Netherlands. If you see one kill it (just make sure it's not Cal). The stream sometimes does this when it's down or sexually frustrated. Entering your SST Username and Password sometimes works. If not, I suggest yelling and shaking your fist.
Q: Why is the lower bitrate stream slower to load than the higher bitrate stream? It's less data, so it should pop up faster!?
A: Because Jeric is a sadist and playing a sick joke on you. The streams are located on different servers in different geographical locations so therefore suffer from different lag times.
Q: Why don’t you have various artist/music "inspired by" soundtracks?
A: Yippe-skippy! One of the most often asked newbie questions. We don't have those kinds of, ahem, "soundtracks" here, because they’re nothing more than marketing gimmicks set up by the studios. We play scores here, damnit! Music written for the film’s story! Music with Heart! With Soul! Music that makes you sound like a bong sucking hippie when you describe it!
Q: What's MP3Pro, and what the hell is Ogg?
Alright, good question. MP3Pro is the newest sound format from the makers of MP3. It's backwards compatible with MP3, so if you play the stream on a player that can't read MP3Pro you'll just hear a normal MP3 signal. Ogg (aka "Ogg Vorbis") is an entirely different broadcasting format. When streamed it's called IceCastv2, just as MP3Pro/Mp3 when streamed is called ShoutCast. Both MP3Pro and Ogg have better sound quality than MP3 and require a much lower bitrate. Arguments go both ways over which one sounds better (some purists even believe normal MP3 still sounds better). The nerds probably want me to point out that Ogg is open source, unlike MP3, which is lisenced buy a couple guys in Germany. Personally I like Ogg, and so should you... cause I said so... and I rule.
Q: You guys are liars! I have Winamp 3 and I can hear the MP3pro stream just fine!?
A: Nice try Einstein. No we're not, and no you can't. MP3pro is backwards compatible. So on players that can't support it, all you hear is a lousy normal MP3 stream. To get the "pro" portion of the stream that makes it sound literally twice as good, you need to be running a player that can handle MP3pro (like Winamp 2 with the plugin).
Q. How do I know I'm hearing MP3pro and not just MP3?
A: On your player, After the song title and <STREAMINGSOUNDTRACKS.COM> it'll say "- MP3PRO" if you're hearing the pro version of the signal.
CHAPTER TWO: REQUESTS
Q: How do I request?
A: There's already a FAQ for this too yeh dingleberry!
Q: But I want it mean and condescending! Please?
A: Okay, okay… If you beg enough I might be tempted.
Q: Why can't I request?
A: Cause you're a moron. Well maybe not. First, crack your neck and look up in the top left hand corner of the website. Does it say "Requests: Down"? ....Yes? Then congratulations 'cause you're not stupid, you're just blind.
Q: But what if it doesn't say "Requests: Down"?
A: Then one of two things has happened. Either you requested something that was requested within the no repeats limit (so you're unoriginal), Orrrr, you made a request before the allotted time since your last request (so you're impatient). Sucks to be you. All this info can be found in the top left corner of the page, so sit down and shut up. If you ask nicely, maybe someone in the chat will make a request on your behalf. But we expect a back-rub, lap dance or strawberry smoothie for our efforts. I prefer the smoothie.
Q: Don't you think one request an hour or whatever sucks?
A: No, I think you suck (and probably swallow). Sure, we'd all like to have unlimited requests, but anything over what we've allotted inadvertently creates a giant queue during peak hours.
Q: Hey I've got a cool idea! Why don't you make the number of requests dynamic!?
A: First of all, no you don't. The old timers thought this up ages ago. We haven't done it because the software doesn't support it and Jeric & Sensei already have enough on their plate to program it from scratch.
Q: So why don't you do it, Cocles?
A: 'Cause my job as admin is harassing you sons of bitches.
Q: Now wait a minute, I've definitely seen the number of requests suddenly change. How does it do that if it's not dynamic?
A: That's Jeric logging on and manually changing the number of requests so you ungrateful sods won't have to wait too long to hear your song. Now say, "Thank you Jeric." ...good newbie.
Q: Why do you guys get so ticked when I abuse the request system?
A: Most would say "It's because you ruin it for the rest of us." That’s what the hippies say at least. Personally I couldn't care less for "the rest". The real truth is, a lot of us see Jeric as our pal, and it royally boils our blood to see some ignorant greedy little peasant abusing his generosity.
Q: Can you remove (such and such) soundtrack/song? I hate it and people keep requesting it!
A: No, the fact that it's being requested a lot means someone likes it, and for all I know you're the doofus who thinks "Pete's Dragon" is so great.
Q: (Such and Such) song is 63912.43 minutes long and is requested as often as possible! Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, can you make it stop!?
A: Maybe, depends.... Does it really suck or are you just being a whiney little diaper-sack because you want to hear your request from Pi?
Q: So I should complain on the chatboard about the longer tracks!?
A: Absolutely! Our fellow listeners will reward you by requesting additional longer tracks for you to cry over. Some you may not have even heard of.
Q: Then where should I voice my concern?
A: In the forum, ding-nut.
Q: Why doesn’t it show my request in the queue?
A: Either you're blind and didn't notice your request was denied, or you're an impatient little kid who can't wait one stinkin' minute for the queue to refresh. So which is it?
Q: Why are you guys sometimes rude when I suggest an addition to the playlist?
A: Because you're asking Jeric to fork over 15 bucks of SST's monthly budget without even bothering to read his post on Request Netiquette...
Remember kids, don't be a dingus. Read the stickies:
http://www.streamingsoundtracks.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=943
Q: I cant request! Why?!? Have I been banned?
A: Yes, I have personally banned you for not waiting the full duration of time between requests, or for requesting the same song someone else did within the "No Repeats" duration. However, if you wait the full "Request" duration and pick a song we haven't heard for a few days I will take pity on your undeserving buttocks and unban you.
CHAPTER THREE: CHATBOARD AND FORUMS
Q: Why is the chat so slow? Why not make it like an IRC chat?
A: 'Cause we don't want it like an IRC chat yeh dingus. Most of the people who visit the SST chatboard do so during work. The chat's slow pace makes it easier to follow while doing something else. Why doesn't it have IRC type features? Cause IRC sucks that's why. Why kick and ban, when being berated by me is so much more fun, satisfying, and entertaining to those watching? We decided to leave instant private messaging out because that forces you to join the party.
Q: But can't I still send private messages via the forum's PM function?
A: Good job Einstein, you get the candy bar. Sure you can, but since it's quicker to communicate in the chat board it once again forces you to <gasp!> join the party. Now stop being a smartass (although I guess that's better than being a dumbass).
Q: WooHoo, so you can't BAN!?
A: Can? Yes. Want to? No. Enjoy it if you force me to? Absolutely! (Especially the whiney letters you wanks always send me afterwards.  )
Q: Where is the forum?
A: “Yes this question gets asked. And yes you're a moron if you're one who has asked this. Since you are deemed mentally challenged I will answer the question to accommodate (that means "conform to") your needs. First go up to the top of the page, there are several ways of doing this, so use whichever one is easiest for you. Move the "cursor" a.k.a. the "pointy thingy" over to the left. (PLEASE SEE BELOW)
<-----------------LEFT RIGHT----------------->
Now you're going to be looking for a shape that resembles (that means "looks like") this:
Forums
That's F-o-r-u-m-s. Now click with the LEFT (please see above for a "refresher", that means... eh, never mind) button and presto, just like magic you're in the forums. Yay! Now roll over an I'll give you a treat.”
Q: How do I change/upload my avatar?
A: Okay this is actually a good question. The trick is you have to access your profile through the forum (instead of via the front page). When you access your profile through the forum you'll find the "Avatar Control Panel" at the very bottom. Yeehaw.
Q: What are the cliques in the chatboard and forum?
A: There are many, we've got the *ahem* arrogant lot, the bible beaters, the forum purists, the unemployed, the frenchies, the dutch, the admins, the oddball euros, the weird canadians, the droners, the cloners, the trouble-makers, the lurkers... the list is endless. What's nifty though is there's no limit to how many cliques you can be a part of (or put in).
Q: Can I use the SST public chat to review my options on buying a new monitor?
A: Yes, but I have discovered recently that the droners will complain and even possibly migrate should you attempt to join them in discussing topics only 2% of the community cares about. Should they not migrate, proceed with caution, because then there is the even worse possibility of them adopting your topic and addressing its "merits" for the rest of the afternoon.
Q: How do you make the smilies in the chat and forum?
A: Good god! You're one of those people who wasn't allowed to use forks and knives as a child aren't you? I could go on for hours.. well.. minutes... okay, seconds about how to type ":" and then "(", but figuring you're barely literate enough to read this anyway, I'll make it simple. In the chat, click where it says, "Smilies" and you'll suddenly see a nice pretty window full of faces. Click on the one you want (probably the one that looks confused) and it'll automatically appear in the text window. In the forum, when composing a message, click on any face you see to the left and it'll also automatically appear in the text window. Got it? Well too bad. (Isn't idiot-proofing grand?)
Q: Where is everyone on the chat?
A: Avoiding you. Peak hours are Midnight to 5pm Pacific Time.
Q: What time-zone is the chat? I'm confused.
A: Pacific Time-Zone, baby. Cause that's where I live, and I rule. It has nothing to do with the site's server being located there too...
Q: If you old timers are so damn perfect then why didn't you think to put a time-stamp feature in the chat?
A: Nice try shrinky-dink. Time to pull up those training pants and hover your cursor over any post on the chat. The time-stamp is alive, well and probably sleeping with your girl... (or boy, it really doesn't matter).
Q: Are there any rules for the Forum or Chat?
A: Good Question. Nothing set in stone, but here are a few suggestions. Don't use the Forum or Chat for facilitating the trade, sharing or whatever of pirated songs. In other words, don't involve SST. We've already been mistaken enough as a piracy site for no real reason (mostly by you silly euro's). Don't flood the chat... with smileys or anything else (you'd think this was common sense but unfortunately...). And finally, don't be a schlong when the admins are being serious. And don't say you're not being a schlong when you are, 'cause it takes one to know one and I'm the biggest schlong on here (yet also cockless... go figure that one out).
CHAPTER FOUR: COMMUNITY
Q: Who's Jeric?
A: Jeric's the owner of this site. It's his collection of CD's you're listening to, so SHOW SOME RESPECT.
Q: What's up with Cal?
A: We're not sure. We used to think he was gay. But he's not as nice as the other gay members of the chat/forum. Then we guessed he was a virgin, but he seems a lot more frustrated than Legolas, so we all finally agreed he's Dutch. But the other clog dancers are much more mellow… So at this point we figure it's probably a bit of all three.
Q: Are Wolf and Clem the same person?
A: We may never know for sure. What we do know is Wolf has been blatantly caught two or three times now logging on as Clem. When the “Clemwolf Theory” was discussed in depth, most of those who opposed it based their opinion on “speaking to both of them at different times”, which basically translates to, “It can’t be true, ‘cause if it is then I’m a dumbass and fell for it!” Are they one person? Who knows. Just keep your eye on the “Online Now” module when talking with Clem.
Q: Is Yvond really "Kent" from that movie “Real Genius”???
A: If you mean the actor, no. If you mean the character… well, Yvond’s blond, a bit of a doofus, wears silly looking goggles, works on lasers at a university for the department of defense and has a thing for talking with Jesus… So you tell me.
Q: So what makes someone an old timer?
A: If you remember when the chat was on the left hand side of the site then you're a genuine old timer. If you've been on here long enough that I've started to throw your name out randomly in my forum posts then you're well on your way.
Q: Why does Legolas care about his avatar SO much?
A: Because Leggy has an unhealthy crush on Orlando Bloom. He also doesn't know how to upload his avatar so grows quite upset whenever "Orlando" disappears, because of a dead link. (Update: Leggy has recently decided to wean himself off of Orlando by changing his avatar to a Lego version of himself... very punny indeed. He has also uploaded his avatar and credits this FAQ with placing him on his road to recovery. We're all rooting for you, Leggy.)
Q: How is the "SAR" in Sarbear pronounced?
A: It's pronouced "sar" as in "far", anyone who tells you otherwise is lying... including Sarbear.
Q: Why are you guys so mean to newbies?
A: Because newbies are morons.
Q: But weren't you guys all newbies once?
A: Yes, but we weren't morons.
Q: Cocles, would you stop being an ass and answer my question?
A: I'll answer your question, but I still get to be an ass. We don't pick on all newbies, just the ones who are unsubstantiatedly arrogant and therefore imbeciles. When you log on and say, "Why haven't you guys ever thought of making the chat like IRC?" you:
Assu the old timers were too stupid to have thought of this before.
Assu your lame idea is clever and original.
Assu that even if your idea is original that we will instantly want to act on it.
(I say Assu instead of assume, because when you assu you only make an ass of u, not me.)
Q: So how can I not be made fun of?
A: Oh you're gonna be made fun of regardless, but you can lessen the blows by being humble and not phrasing your suggestions like you're a know-it-all. In other words, don't act like me. I'm one of the oldest members and they don't even like me doing it. Try saying, "Hey, you guys probably already thought of this but..." Or even better "Hey you awesome dudes. Can I just say how much you guys rock? How about I buy you all dinner. Maybe if we have time, and it's okay with you, I could list a couple suggestions I thought up. You've probably already heard or thought of them yourselves, but I just want to make sure, because I really like this site and want it to rule as much as possible."
Q: Cocles, what's your problem?
A: I'm an arrogant jerk.
Q: No really, what's your problem?
A: I dunno, but you're free to guess. Some of my favorites suggestions are, "Cocles' opinion of himself is seven levels higher than it should be." and "Cocles isn't sick. He's just easily riled, overly smart and often bored."
Q: So how the hell did you become an admin?
A: I was promoted from being a Mod, duh.
CHAPTER FIVE: DONATING
Q: How do I donate?
A: Buddy! Pal! Amigo! Walk right this way and let me take your coat. There are MANY ways to donate. The two most common are by purchasing gift certificates for SST at Amazon and sending money through PayPal. SST also gets a little kick back whenever you connect to Amazon via the site and purchase something else, whether it be for the site or for yourself. You can also purchase items at the SST store as well as donate bandwidth for the streams.
Q: How much should I donate?
A: Whether you give $1 or $1000 it will all go back into the site. We recommend a minimum of $5 a month if you listen to the low bandwidth streams and $10 a month if you listen to the 128k. Not donating means you are cheap and will revoke all pity you might receive when I pick on you in the chat/forum. Claiming you can’t afford to donate means you’re a liar (unless you wish to explain how you can afford access to the equipment to view this site yet not afford a $1 donation…?).
CHAPTER SIX: MISCELLANEOUS
Q: Are there places I can look before asking questions, so I don't instantly look like a dumbass when I ask for help?
A: Sure, check the Top left corner for requests,
look in playlist/requests for requests.
The queue is the backlog,
and for stream status check the links under "SERVICES".
(It sounds simple, but you'd be surprised by how many of your lazy bastards never even bother checking these places.)
Q: Why do we have to register and log on?
A: Because it makes you accountable for your actions on the site... Awwwwwww, cry me a river yeh whiney newbs, if I have to be accountable so do all of you.
Q: Is this site legal?
A: Yes. Jeric owns legitimate copies of every soundtrack he broadcasts.
Q: What’s the big deal about downloading? Can’t I just use Kazaa?
A: Kazaa? What’s Kazaa?
Q: It’s this file shar-
A: KAZAA? We know not of KAZAA here!?
Q: Ooo, ooh, I'm at the top of the users online list.. yay!... What does that mean?
A: The order of the list is random. It don't mean squat. Actually, it means you get to buy me a soda. I'll have a Coke... non-diet.
Q: How do I start up my own soundtrack radio station?
A: You don't, because any soundtrack station will be inferior to this one, because no one has a better playlist or site design.
Q: But my site WOULD have a better playlist and design!
A: Maybe so, but your site would not have me, so it is still inferior.
Q: Are you for sale, Cocles?
A: NO! I am not a whore! (So, how much are we talking?)
Q: What if I don’t mind my station being inferior?
A: Then you’re a peon and not worth the time it would take to answer you.
Q: If I drink soda and eat pop rocks will I die?
A: Hopefully.
Q: What is this Transformer crap?
A: A soundtrack from the 1980's that can be utilized quite successfully as a means to manipulate people into being more active (i.e. complaining) on the chat board. Not that I've ever done this myself or known someone who has... really. I swear.
Q: How can I download the playlist?
A: First, learn English, since most the time I hear this question it sounds like, "How one do transfer song?" After learning English you'll learn that we at SST are not commie pinkos like yourself and believe in the ownership of ideas. Therefore we are in no way interested in facilitating your thievery and request that you crack your knee and shove it up your rear before hop-scotching yourself out of our sight and range of hearing.
Q: How do I see everyone's IP's?
A: Give off as much funky vibe as I do and become an admin... but, since you're already a creepy newb for asking this sort of question, that's probably not going to happen.
Q: How do I log out?
A: It’s real easy binky-boy (or ginky-girl), reach around the back of your computer and you’ll find this big thick wire, probably black and towards the top. Yank it… hard. For a less dramatic effect I suggest clicking on “Logout” which can be happily found nestled directly beneath the chat module.
Q: What is Unearthed by E.S. Posthumus and where can I get it?
A: Ah yes! E.S. Posthumus. You have me to thank, children, for recommending this as an addition to the playlist. Although not officially a "soundtrack", Unearthed, by E.S. Posthumus, has been used in numerous movie trailers since its release in 2001. That (and the fact that it rules) grants it a space in our groovy playlist. The only place to buy is directly from the artist at esposthumus.com.
Q: So is COCLES a girl??? Cause I am reading it as "cockless"…
A: My nick is not pronounced "cockless" it's pronounced "cocklee-" eh, yeah, I'm a girl.
CHAPTER SEVEN: BELGIUM (‘Cause SlowMo asked…)
Q: Where the hell is Belgium?
A: Wedged between the butt cheeks of France and The Netherlands.
Q: Did Belgium surrender too quick in WWII?
A: Belgium fought in WWII???
CHAPTER EIGHT: HAPPY FUN FACTS FOR HAPPY FUN NEWBIES!
Everyone on SST likes newbies, (hell, even me), and by knowing a few simple facts it'll show!
-Unlike most websites, SST has a webmaster who is very present, and a lot of the regular users consider him a pal. This is why the regulars, especially the old timers, take it rather personally when you abuse or criticize the site.
-No matter how smart you are, you are still not smarter than me and several other regulars. Therefore, you should not act like you are the smartest person logged on.
-Hunting down the most infamous guy on the board and trying to "defeat" him, will not make you popular. Duels on the internet are like the special Olympics, whether you win or lose you're still retarded. The infamous people on SST are already proudly retarded so have nothing to lose. If you want to be popular, play along with my jokes and donate.
-Orbiting the girls of SST like a satellite will not get you the keys to their bedrooms. My advice would instead be to act silly and self-deprecating (hell, it worked for Hart).
Last edited by Cocles on Tue May 18, 2004 7:27 am; edited 30 times in total |
|
 |
Caray
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Oct 17, 2002
Member#: 243
Posts: 408
Location: France
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 7:37 am Post subject: |
|
Cocles, you are forgiven every single nasty thought, post, or deed you have done in the last year !
*holding aching ribs and trying to strangle snickers, giggles and howls of laughter as office mate stares in fear*
_________________
My reality cheque bounced |
|
|
|
Caliburn
Guest
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 7:58 am Post subject: |
|
*standing ovation*
'nuff said :-) |
|
|
|
Cocles
Commodore
Joined: Mar 06, 2002
Member#: 15
Posts: 2587
Location: Los Angeles, CA
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 8:14 am Post subject: |
|
Still open to more suggestions for questions, if you've got them. |
|
|
|
SlowMo
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Mar 20, 2002
Member#: 29
Posts: 390
Location: Ghent, Belgium
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 8:39 am Post subject: |
|
Awesome Cocmeister...
Now get your ass started on the Cocles Mean and Condescending SST Who-Is-Who!
_________________
"By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry.'" -- Gary Larson |
|
|
|
Caliburn
Guest
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 8:44 am Post subject: |
|
lol good one :-) |
|
|
|
cvb
Ensign
Joined: Apr 26, 2002
Member#: 65
Posts: 39
Location: Nyack, NY
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 8:54 am Post subject: *applause* |
|
That was hysterical.
_________________
"WHERE ARE WE GOING??? AND WHY AM I IN THIS HANDBASKET?!?!?" |
|
|
|
sarbear
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined: Dec 09, 2002
Member#: 297
Posts: 81
Location: UT
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 9:38 am Post subject: |
|
Awesome Cocles. |
|
|
|
the mozster
Cadet 4
Joined: Jul 23, 2002
Member#: 158
Posts: 18
Location: Newport Beach
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 10:02 am Post subject: |
|
Impressive. Most impressive. |
|
|
|
jk2silly 
Commander
Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Member#: 30
Posts: 582
Location: Philadelphia Pa USA
 |
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 11:13 am Post subject: |
|
Now THAT is the way ALL FAQ's should be written. Cocles I salute you. You are the dark lord himself.
_________________
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. - Calvin and Hobbes - |
|
|
|
Marko
Ensign
Joined: Mar 31, 2003
Member#: 454
Posts: 40
Location: Michigan
|
|
Posted:
Fri May 09, 2003 3:27 pm Post subject: |
|
Hey Cocles, I really enjoyed your faq post. |
|
|
|
Wolf
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: Mar 06, 2002
Member#: 16
Posts: 448
Location: Right behind you...
|
|
Posted:
Sat May 10, 2003 11:51 am Post subject: |
|
*trying to regain his breath after histerical moment spent reading the FAQ*
AWESOME!!! That is a great FAQ, very informative and funny as hell! 
I cant wait to see the next one.
_________________
Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate... leads to suffering. |
|
|
|
Cocles
Commodore
Joined: Mar 06, 2002
Member#: 15
Posts: 2587
Location: Los Angeles, CA
|
|
Posted:
Sun May 11, 2003 3:32 am Post subject: |
|
Alright you dingos. I had a few more suggestions for questions that I'm adding to the FAQ. For your convenience I'll post the most recent additions below as well as within the FAQ itself. Have fun.
STREAMS
Q: Why do you not have various artist/music "inspired by" soundtracks?
A: Yet another favorite newbie question. We don't have those kinds of, ahem, ""soundtracks"" here because they’re nothing more than marketing gimics set up by the studios. We play scores here damnit! Music written for the film’s story! Music with Heart! With Soul! Music that makes you sound like a bong sucking hippie when you describe it!
Q: But there IS space available, and I still can’t hear the streams!?
A: Then you’re probably one of those ding-dongs who downloaded Realplayer ONE or Winamp 3. The Cocmeister approved player is Winamp 2. Why? Because Winamp 2 uses a lot less of your system’s resources and it also supports Ogg format sound files and streams (a.ka. IceCast2). If you don’t like Winamp, then my runner-up selection would be <gasp> Windows Media Player. Why not Winamp 3? It’s all about the Ogg, baby. Obviously my suggestions are for PC. If you’re on a Mac, well… you Apple hippies are all so self-satisfied, why don’t you tell me what’s good? As for Linux? Well, if that’s your OS then you’re a nerd and a disgrace to your people for needing this FAQ in the first place.
CHAT
Q: Where is everyone on the chat?
A: Avoiding you. Peak hours are Midnight to 5pm Pacific Time.
COMMUNITY
Q: Is Yvond really "Kent" from that movie “Real Genius”???
A: If you mean the actor, no. If you mean the character… well, Yvond’s blond, a bit of a doofus, wears silly looking goggles, works on lasers at a university for the department of defense and has a thing for talking with Jesus… So you tell me.
Q: Are Wolf and Clem one person?
A: We may never know for sure. What we do know is Wolf has been blatantly caught two or three times now logging on as Clem. When the “Clemwolf Theory” was discussed in depth, most of those who opposed it based they’re opinion on “speaking to both of them at different times”, which basically translates to, “It can’t be true, ‘cause if it is then I’m a dumbass and fell for it!” Are they one person? Who knows. Just keep your eye on the “Online Now” module when talking with Clem.
Q: How the hell did Cocles become an admin?
A: I was promoted from being a Mod, duh.
DONATIONS
Q: How do I donate?
A: Buddy! Pal! Amigo! Walk right this way and let me take your coat. There are MANY ways to donate. The two most common are by purchasing gift certificates for the site at Amazon and sending money through PayPal. SST also gets a little kick back whenever you connect to Amazon via the site and purchase something, whether it be for the site or for yourself. You can also purchase items at the SST store as well as donate bandwidth for the streams.
Q: How much should I donate?
A: Whether you give $1 or $1000 it will all go back into the site. We recommend a minimum of $5 a month if you listen to the low bandwidth streams and $10 a month if you listen to the 128k. Not donating means you are cheap and will revoke all pity you might receive when I pick on you in the chat/forum. Claiming you can’t afford to donate means you’re a liar (unless you wish to explain how you can afford access to the equipment to view this site yet not afford a $1 donation…?).
MISC
Q: If I drink soda and eat pop rocks will I die?
A: Hopefully.
Q: What’s the big deal about downloading? Can’t I just use Kazaa?
A: Kazaa? What’s Kazaa?
Q: It’s this file shar-
A: KAZAA? We know not of KAZAA here!?
Q: How do I see everyone's IP's?
A: Give off as much funky vibe as I do and become an admin, but, since you're already enough of a creepy newb-nut to ask this sort of question, that's probably not going to happen.
Q: How do I logout?
A: It's real easy binky-boy (or ginky-girl), reach around the back of your computer and you’ll find this big thick wire, probably black and towards the top. Yank it… hard. For a less dramatic effect I suggest clicking on “Logout” which can be happily found nestled directly beneath the chat module.
Last edited by Cocles on Sun May 11, 2003 4:48 pm; edited 1 time in total |
|
|
|
 Pixie
Lieutenant Commander
Joined: May 14, 2002
Member#: 90
Posts: 372
Location: Los Angeles, CA
|
|
Posted:
Sun May 11, 2003 11:34 am Post subject: |
|
LMAO!!
I especially like the part about logging off...now if we could only get a few of the choice newbs to insert that black wire in their mouth without removing it from the wall first...  |
|
|
|
Clem
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined: Apr 23, 2002
Member#: 61
Posts: 66
Location: Clermont-Fd, France
|
|
Posted:
Sun May 11, 2003 12:26 pm Post subject: |
|
Merci Cocles for the good laugh!
What would Streaming Soundtracks be without you around? Good question.
_________________
The day people will trust one another, there will be peace on earth. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
