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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: Women only need read |
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Tips for us ladies
1. Aspire to be Barbie - the babe has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy one in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt... a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila
4. In need of a support group? - It is called cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal
with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just my
personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot, it solves nothing; and makes you
walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons - turn it into lemonade then mix it with
vodka.
12. Remember every good looking; sweet, single male is someone else's ex boyfriend!
13. Now copy this and send it to any girl wasting time at work,
suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from something that might
need a reason to smile.
_________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:24 pm Post subject: Drop in any time |
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Everything in Balance
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor.
Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "There is another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there. _________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject: You too? |
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I DON'T WANNA
I don't wanna do the dishes
I don't wanna do the wash
I sprinkled clothes a week ago
And now my iron is lost!
I don't wanna rattle pots
I don't wanna rattle pans
I see the mail light flashin'
I wanna chat with friends!
Oh the tables need some dustin'
and the floor could sure be mopped
But I know if I get started
there'll be no place to stop.
The closets are so full
things are falling off the shelves
I wish for cleaning fairies
and magic little elves.
They could sprinkle fairy dust
and twitch their little nose
The windows would be sparkling
I would have no dirty clothes.
Oh I know that I'm just dreamin'
My head is in the sky
I must cook that meat that's greying
and bake that apple pie.
The Hubby needs a bath
Doggy needs attention
Oh.. the other way around I mean
my brain is in suspension.
I am runnin' round in circles
I am gettin' nothin' done,
I keep thinking of my web
I am missing all the fun!
Well I know I'm not addicted
though I hear that all the time
But I guess this stuff can wait on me
Cause Today I'll Be On Line!!! _________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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The following are excerpts from various Kid's "Test Papers and Essays":
• "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
• "The three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
• "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
• "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
• "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
• "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
• "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
• "The body consists of three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five -- a, e, i, o, and u."
• "The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
• "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to." _________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:55 pm Post subject: |
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FOR WHEN A LITTLE HUMOR IS NEEDED IN YOUR DAY
1) My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't!
2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously . . . no one gets out alive.
7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
11) I'm not a complete idiot--some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13) NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
14) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . not
screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
15) God must love stupid people; he made so many.
16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as BAD as you t Íhink and they ARE out to get you.
1 I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
21) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.
22) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
23) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Buttheads!
24) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)
25) Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
26) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up
27) Procrastinate Now
2 Rehab Is for Quitters
29) My Dog Can Lick Anyone
30) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts--Do You Want Fries With That?
31) Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.
32) Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've been doing since I was 15
33) ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING
34) West Virginia: One Million People and 15 last names
35) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
36) MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT
37) A hangover is the wrath of grapes
3 A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
39) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
40) DISCOURAGE INBREEDING -- Ban Country Music
41) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
42) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead
43) Time's fun when you're having flies . . . Kermit the Frog
44) POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on.
45) FOR SALE -- Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
46) HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH
47) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
4 The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.
49) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
50) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
51) WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years.
52) The trouble with life is there's no background music
ÿ. _________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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weaponlordzero
Captain
Joined: Sep 15, 2006
Member#: 15677
Posts: 1639
Location: Louisville, KY USA
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Posted:
Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:34 pm Post subject: |
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Cinder wrote: |
FOR WHEN A LITTLE HUMOR IS NEEDED IN YOUR DAY
51) WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years.
ÿ. |
Does that mean when I moved to KY when I was 19, I became a fetus
_________________ I do not wake up with thoughts of control and rebellion, but thoughts of purpose and righteousness and the empowerment to fulfill those convictions that define me. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Fri May 02, 2008 1:48 am Post subject: |
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Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy.
They just promised it would be worth it
Have a great day my Friend! _________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Wed May 07, 2008 4:50 pm Post subject: Story of the Day |
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Here's the Story of the Day:
Three Blind Mice
I tried for a whole summer to teach our cat to play the piano. We started with an easy song. It was 3 Blind Mice. My dad said it didn't work because the cat had a tin ear, but I think it was because she kept looking around for the blind mice the whole time & never gave it her full attention. _________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Thu May 08, 2008 7:09 pm Post subject: For the MOMs |
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25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'then you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
_________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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JadedTitan
Vice Admiral (Moderator)
Joined: Oct 20, 2007
Member#: 19134
Posts: 692
Location: Maryland
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Posted:
Fri May 09, 2008 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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wonderful!!! I owe my mom so much for all the stuff...haha. who is the picture of cin? _________________ The right song can turn an emperor into a laughing stock, can bring down dynasties. A song can last long after the events and people in it are dust and dreams are gone. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Fri May 09, 2008 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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JadedTitan wrote: |
wonderful!!! I owe my mom so much for all the stuff...haha. who is the picture of cin? |
Little boy is Jim @ 3 years old, Suzi about 8 months old and ME! about 5 years old!
It is one of my favorite kids photos.
We had one more brother come along about 18 months later. _________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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JadedTitan
Vice Admiral (Moderator)
Joined: Oct 20, 2007
Member#: 19134
Posts: 692
Location: Maryland
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Posted:
Sat May 10, 2008 1:37 am Post subject: |
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Great picture cin! thanks for sharing very cuuuuute! _________________ The right song can turn an emperor into a laughing stock, can bring down dynasties. A song can last long after the events and people in it are dust and dreams are gone. |
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Cinder
Commodore
Joined: May 15, 2005
Member#: 10213
Posts: 3317
Location: Washington state
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Posted:
Sat May 10, 2008 8:59 pm Post subject: Still alive |
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The building was built in 1941, by Roy Thompson, and is still owned today by members of the family. As Thompson's Cafe, it saw WW II, the Depression, and the boom of the timber industry. In the 1950's, the business changed hands and became known as the Mar-T Cafe, continuing to be a regular stop for over the mountain pass travelers and locals. Then, in 1990, on a scouting trip to find a location for his new movie/pilot /series, David Lynch found the setting of this cafe and further the whole Snoqualmie Valley, Perfect! He then filmed the now famous TV series "Twin Peaks" immortalizing the cafe's cherry pie and "Damn fine cup o' coffee!".
Today the cafe is known as Twede's Cafe, renown for great food, and plenty of it! A fire in the year 2000 closed us down for a while, but the cafe has since been remodeled and is now part of "Historic downtown North Bend". With our Great Burger variety, our Big Breakfasts and Home-Style Dinners, "No one ever goes away hungry!". At Twede's, almost everything is made from scratch and from the best quality ingredients we can find. Oh, and we still have "Twin Peaks" cherry pie and "A damn fine cup o' coffee!".
A good site to see also http://cinepad.com/twin_peaks/mar-t.htm
_________________ A good sound track will let me relive the movie, I can cry over them as well. Hand me the tissues...please. |
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Ceidon
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined: Jun 18, 2007
Member#: 18050
Posts: 89
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Posted:
Sat May 10, 2008 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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nice one cind! always love a bit of trivia... especially historical trivia... thanks for sharing...and i shall have something posted here soon |
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SiriusCreations
Admiral (Administrator)
Joined: Aug 26, 2007
Member#: 18704
Posts: 4419
Location: Rotterdam, The Netherlands
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Posted:
Sun May 11, 2008 12:40 am Post subject: |
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I can not wait to taste that cherry pie and that fine coffee myself in august _________________ That's the beauty of music. They can't take that away from you. (Andy Dufresne)
Sirius' Concerts
NUTs & RATs |
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